I realize that this blog is about me getting sober and a documentation of the triumphs and trials of that process, however, I don’t want to be defined just as that one (smoking hot, smart, funny) sober lesbian. I am so much more than that. In addition to being that one (smoking hot, smart, funny) sober lesbian I also enjoy watching and playing sports, the beach, long walks on the beach, reading and candy. To be specific Mexican candy. I also love animals (my girlfriend and I have 3) and if it were up to me I would adopt every animal that needed a home. Maybe instead of seeing me on Intervention you’ll see me on Animal Hoarders! A girl can dream…
Anyways, I suppose that as more time passes this blog will be less about me getting sober and more about me living sober. Perhaps it will even talk about the wonderful adventures and things I do soberly (probably things I have done before but don’t remember because I wasn’t sober) and the healthy lifestyle I live. Perhaps I’ll run a marathon or become a Yogi or have 5 more animals. However, as of right now, I have quit drinking but also have quit going to the gym and eating healthy. I’m keeping those both on my to-do list but right now my top priority is not drinking (and blogging about it too). So the whole healthy living thing is, as of right now, on pause.
(Side note: Kate says healthy living doesn’t have to put on pause — obviously she’s worried I am going to get fat — but think of all the calories I’m not consuming by not drinking! However, the more I think about it, I guess if I consume more calories now in food, more than when I was drinking, it doesn’t really count as cutting back on calories. Shit. Look! A squirrel!)
But back to sobriety not defining me. I realize that as of right now since it’s all that I am writing about that it does seem to define me. I hope that eventually it will just be another part of who I am but not a defining characteristic. Being in a relationship with a woman does not define my character or even begin to tell the story of who I am. Not drinking is the same. To be honest, I don’t really know what defines me. I don’t think my sexual orientation, religion, or occupation begin to define me but if they don’t then what does? My beliefs? Morals? Values? I don’t know. It’s a tough question to ask one to define them self if you ask me. I do hope that in my sobriety I will peel off more layers of myself (perhaps ones previously masked by alcohol) and begin to unveil more and more of what constitutes me.
How do you define yourself? What defines you?
In other news unrelated to how I define myself, my dad and step-mom came into town again this past weekend and stole our house. We (very nicely) let them take our room and we crashed on the futon in the spare room. If my family is really good at one thing it is definitely being loud and obnoxious shortly thereafter followed by eating. We did not disappoint on either account. I literally gained five pounds. Literally. Kate claims IF I allegedly gained any weight it all went to my boobs but she has to say shit like that because she’s my girlfriend. Remind me to never ask her if anything makes me look fat.
Anyways we ate. And ate. And napped. And ate. And after that ate some more. After dinner and dessert with some more members of my family on Sunday Kate and I decided to be productive and take online quizzes at home. Very important life changing quizzes like: what rock band are you (Kate got The Beatles, I got The Rolling Stones), what is your spirit animal (Kate got an owl, I got a wolf) and what Disney couple are you (Aladdin and Jasmine).
However, the best one we took was “How Many Children Should You Have?” Kate went first and the highly technical test told her she should have…. a cat. I, on the other hand, got eleven. This answer caused Kate to begin reevaluating her life and verbalizing that reevaluation (in bed at 11:00 pm when I was trying to sleep) but I tried my best to convince her that an online quiz (one which asks you in depth questions like “what color do you prefer” etc.) probably isn’t the greatest indicator of how you should live your life. But, only time will tell if my spirit animal is truly a wolf and if Kate should truly just have a cat (although she has yet to clean out Ringo’s litter box so god help the poor cat she gets).
But in all seriousness Kate is such a trooper when it comes to my family. My family is overbearing and loud and in your face and very involved and tries to be even more involved and since I am an only child my parents are obsessed with me. My family as a whole is very much in each others business. Mind you Kate lives 2,000 miles away from her family and has for 5 years so this has to be a bit of an adjustment.
My dad made a joke about this:
What’s the difference between Outlaws and In-Laws?
Outlaws are wanted.
Ain’t that the truth.
stay sober my friends.